The World is My Oyster

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2008-03-09T11:19:00.003-04:00

I'm seriously wishing, hoping, praying that everything will turn out OK.

Santa Barbara

2007-05-11T14:51:00.000-04:00

I didn't think I would miss Santa Barbara this much.

I've been remembering little moments from college.

Late night conversations with the roommates, watching CSI with Kathleen, working at the lab, shopping at Ross with Clara, eating 7 dollar burritos at Freebirds, 5 minute bike rides to campus, attending art lectures, overhearning interesting conversations from my room window overlooking El Colegio, smell of the beach, getting free Palermo Pizza from Paternos, riding the bus downtown.

I miss it so much my heart aches.

Words can't explain what I'm feeling.

I wish I could go back.

Last Stop

2007-01-24T04:41:00.000-05:00

Whenever I'm in a unfamiliar place, first thing I do is stand at a bus stop and wait for the next bus.

I don't care where the bus is going; east, west, north, south. Or how far it is until the last stop.

Sometimes, if I see something that attracts my attention, I'd get off the bus, walk around and look for another bus stop. It sure beats riding a tour bus where the tour guide cracks jokes and there's just an awkward silence among his/her audience.

I like looking out the window and see the world passing by quietly.

Yesterday was my birthday so I decided to treat myself to some down time. I took a bus to nowhere. When I we reached a stop where everybody got off, I asked the man next to me if this was the last stop. He turned to me and asked a simple question, 'Where are you going?'

I usually get that question all the time, sometimes I smile and say some random street. Sometimes I say the name of the last stop of the bus if I remember it. But this time the question meant something different. I felt embarrass that I didn't know where I was going. I felt lost physically and emotionally. I could tell in his facial expression that he was wondering how at my age I still don't know where I'm going.

Not only was I ashamed, I became worried. Now what? Do I pick a final destination or do I take another bus until I figure out where I am going.

I've been enjoying the scenery so much so that I forgot the point of this bus ride.

Reminds me of the part of the story in the Alchemist by Pablo Coelho. The character in the story was asked to carry a spoon of oil up the hill. When he wasn't paying attention, he spilled the oil but got to enjoy the scenery.

I guess what I'm saying is I think its time for me to concentrate on my life and stop taking bus rides.

Singapore is INDEED a Fine City

2007-01-22T21:55:00.000-05:00

The moment I walked out the budget terminal at the Airport, I definitely knew I wasn't home anymore.

The air was so fresh and free from pollution that my lungs started having an allergic reaction. People stood in line at the immigration stand. More importantly, the rest rooms were stocked with toilet paper and has a a working toilet, something considered a luxury in a third world country.

There are cameras everywhere, and they seem to be working properly too. I could walk out the terminal and get my luggage without fear of getting mugged.

Riding the MRT to my temporary accomodation, I could see the peace and order Singaporeans are so proud of. The streets were overwhelming clean that if I dropped my food I don't have to pick it up in five seconds.

Everything is in perfect order... in other words it's B-O-R-I-N-G.

What the hell is wrong with me? I think living in New York made me feel numb. I need surprises, I need crime, I need excitement.

Singapore reminds me of the game SIM City and some geeky kid is controlling my every move.

The Interview

2007-01-12T12:36:00.000-05:00

I arrive 5 minutes early. I get of the elevator to check if I'm in the right office. I enter the receiving area and the receptionist asks my name and immediately picks up the phone. I tell her I'm 5 minutes early, but she ignores me.

I sit and wait for a few minutes, wondering if I look presentable for the interview. People are coming in and out of the office, all of whom look so serious. I have no clue what this company does. I kick myself for not doing the research the night before. But it doesn't matter because its only a practice interview for me. I don't expect to get the job.

A tall Italian man extends his hand at the sight of me, 'Tara?' he had a friendly smile. He directed me to tiny interrogation-like room. He tells me to pick a seat. I chose the highest seat not knowing I can't push it down. The whole time I felt uncomfortable and he knows it too.

He began by asking me about my working expereince. I answered each question confidently thinking that I had nothing to lose if I said the wrong thing. But to my surprise everything was going well. He was smiling at my every response. I didn't feel like it was an interview but more like a casual conversation between two old friends.

He offered me the job the next day.

4 months later, he was promoted. After 2 months, he was forced to quit.

He was a good manager, a good friend, a good person. But he was not a great leader. He was young and inexperienced. And still had a good heart. Maybe a few more years of disappointments will make him stronger.

I decided to leave after he left. I can't stay in a company that doesn't value their people.

In some level I am like him. I'm too emotional. I care too much. This is my weakness. Something I need work on if I want to succeed.

Nothingness

2006-10-06T21:03:00.000-04:00

To say that I haven't blogged in a while is an understatement.

I have completely neglected this blog. Its not so much because I've been busy and no time to squeeze in an entry. I just have nothing to write about.

There's nothing going on in my life worth blogging about. or reading.....

B-O-R-E-D

2006-09-19T10:32:00.000-04:00

I was looking for quotes online about boredom to start off my blog. I got bored so I stopped.

I once heard that it is a crime to be bored; that I have the responsibility to find something to do. I thought about the quote then I got bored.

As soon as my plane landed, I felt like my life was put on slow motion. I wake up late on the weekdays. I yawn the whole day. I spend hours in front of the television without even realizing it.

I have to stop thinking and start acting.

My dad told me to work for my cousin while I'm waiting for a job opening in Singapore. Maybe that will wake me up....

Post Secret

2006-09-18T06:09:00.000-04:00

First Day in Manila

2006-09-03T03:03:00.000-04:00

...and all I could think of is how I miss New York City.

Company Meeting

2006-08-22T01:07:00.000-04:00

I've been working for this company for quite a while now. Most of the time I just mind my business and do my work. I have an idea what my company does, but honestly I really don't care.

Today, we a had a company meeting. I learned so much. Each manager gave a presentation about the productivity of their departments. They predicted their profit for next year and what they should change to be more profitable. I was genuinely interested.

I was actually buying what they were telling me. Then, I realized working for this company isn't half bad. I don't like the fact that everybody who works here looks like they just recently got out of college. Or that its not the most secure job.

I used to think our product wasn't easy to sell therefore the success of the company is limited. Anyways, minus the specifics its really hard to explain what I do. But one thing I know for sure I have a new found respect for this company.

Grand Newton Avenue

2006-08-17T10:51:00.000-04:00

I live in Queens. I know, I know. Before, you throw a pity party. I should mention that I have a kickass view of the city.

When I dreamt of living in NYC, I saw myself living a 'simple life'. I rent a studio apartment with my very own bathroom. I didn't dreeam of having a magnificent view of the city, just a view of tree lined street will do. My doorman greets me good morning everyday on my way to work. On the corner of my building, a deli where I get my coffee, bagel and newspaper every morning. Subway is conviently located two blocks from my apartment. I'm a simple gal.

Instead, when I moved here, it took me forever to find a liveable apartment.

My first apartment in Washington Heights was infested with bed bugs, roaches and some species I couldn't define. My corner deli was a liquor store where all the jobless people hang out morning til night. My room WAS the bathroom. My room 'view' was the neighbor's kitchen. At night, I could hear people yelling profanity at each other in another language. The subway was 5 blocks away and it reeked of marijuana. Needless to say, I always came home before sun down.

I am currently in my second apartment. I like it here. I think its an ok place for somebody with my salary. I share it with a college friend. There's a chinese "deli" at the corner. It's two blocks from the subway. It's not a dream apartment in Manhattan. But, sometimes, I girl just have to make do.

And when the time comes, I'll have enough money for that perfect apartment whether it be in Manhattan or somewhere else.

In the meantime, I think it's always better to have an OK apartment in Queens than have a shitty apartment in the City.

Youtube

2006-08-11T20:06:00.000-04:00

It's a great planet, why are we at the office? -- Matt Harding from Youtube

I saw this cool video on youtube by Matt Harding but I can't figure out how to post it on blogger. Check it out.

Anyway, the story behind the video was Matt, a video programmer, quits his day job and uses his savings to travel around the world. He takes videos of him dancing whereever he goes. Stride gum found out what he was doing and decided to sponsor him. Lucky bastard.

I'm 22 years old, I know I haven't experienced the best of corporate America BUT I know I do not want to spend the rest of my life chained to an office chair from 9-5 typing away on my desk top.

One day, I'm going to save enough money and travel the world too. I WILL NOT surrender to the corporate world....omg, I hope not.

Another Day at the Office

2006-08-03T02:03:00.000-04:00

This is what I have to deal with everyday...

My boss is just impossible to please. She treats us like kids, always hovering over our shoulders checking if we're doing our work.

Co-worker no.1 loves to hear his/her voice so much so that he/she cuts me off whenever he/she gets the chance (which is all the time). He/She butts in people conversations even though he/she has no clue what they are talking about.

Co-worker no.2 and no.3 I get along with.

The job itself is neither glamourous nor rewarding. No kid ever grew up and dreamt of working for my company.

If you saw the movie office space with Jennifer Aniston and Burger (guy from Sex and the City). That's basically my office environment. Some stare blankly in front of their computer. Others go around from cubicle to cubicle gossiping on why someone got fired or why someone doesn't deserve a promotion. While others use the company phone to call their girlfriend somewhere in Milwaukee.

I, on the other hand, use the company computer to read blogs....I seriously need a job wherein I need to think. I can't go on like this.

Bull in the China Shop

2006-08-01T23:09:00.000-04:00

My proudest experience in New York was not getting a job or paying for my own apartment or living on my own. Those were things I HAD to do to survive.

I was more proud of having an internship.

Last winter, I got an internship working as a marketing assistant at Wallstreet. Everyday, I was truly excited to wake up and go to work.

I loved my boss. She introduced me around the office three times. She gave me my own little cubicle, with my own phone line. It was my first real experience working in an office environment (without the office drama).

Those were the days...

All in Days Work

2006-08-01T13:21:00.000-04:00

I love self help books.

I should have bought a book on understanding office politics when I started working. I am not ready working in an office environment.

It feels like I'm back in High School.

People around me talk in whispers. Rumors spread around like wild fire. And just last week, there was a fist fight. Today, the major news is that the person who hired me is quitting his position.

He had a great effect on me. During the interview, we talked about law school. He encouraged me to go.

When he left, I was devastated. That meant I was going to have a new manager. To make matters worst, the replacement wasn't even on the same level as my old boss.

Not to mention, one of my co-workers is kissing her ass so bad that I don't know where her ass ends and my co-worker's lips begin. To add insult to injury, my co-worker got a promotion.

I just want to go to work and do my job and get paid. What I don't want is worry about belonging to a clique and pretending to like the people I don't like. Come on now, we're not in high school anymore.

Subway Rant

2006-07-31T09:29:00.000-04:00

I understand that New Yorkers are always in a hurry to get somewhere. This is especially true during rush hours.

What I don't understand is their behavior during these times. I'm all for survival of the fittest. But whatever happened to simple courtesy. Haven't they heard of the words 'consideration for others'.

To the person who purposely stick their limbs or some object between train doors: What the hell is wrong with you. There are people who are also in a hurry to get to their jobs. Why can't you just wait for another train. Someday, the train driver will go ahead and won't care about your limb. Then maybe, you'll be more considerate.

To the person who takes over two seats: I know you need space for your fat ass or whatever it is between your legs. But my fat ass is tired too and I need a seat.

To the shover. Please there are enough space on the train for everybody. Stop shoving me!!!

And to the the person blocking the exit: Just stand there, I'll just get off the next stop. I'm not in a hurry to go to my job anyway.

New York Summer Street Fair

2006-07-30T02:24:00.000-04:00

I was bored one weekend afternoon and decided to walk around the city. Before I left the apartment, I went online to see what's going on. I didn't find anything interesting but while walking around midtown, I stumbled upon this street fair.

Some artworks, I can't believe I didn't take a detailed picture of this. I think its glass mosaic.

My first winter in NY, we went ice skating in Central Park. I had my first candy apple. I've seen it on TV and have always wanted to try it. It was very difficult to bite into and sticky. I felt like a kid drooling with sticky fingers.

If I had a penny for every tourist I see wearing an I heart NY shirt... its like their uniform. Families wear the shirt thinking it will be easier for them to find each other, only to find out that every tourist is wearing them.

Photoblogging: Central Park

2006-07-28T14:56:00.000-04:00

Random pictures from Central Park...

Packed

2006-07-26T11:36:00.000-04:00

I love packing. I get a sense of achievement when I know I utilized every inch of the box carefully stuffing my crap in there. It's similar to finishing a puzzle.

I have been counting the days 'til I depart from JFK to Manila. But nothing is more surreal and final than packing my belongings and shipping them off.

Last night, I realized that I didn't even know my home address.

Before I left, my family was in the midst of moving to a new house. There were three bedrooms for my youngers siblings and the master bedroom for my parents. The house has no place for me. When I visited them, I didn't feel like I was home. My sisters tried to make her room more comfortable for me. I really appreciated that but I needed my own space.

I have a lot of anxiety building up after I made the decision. Mostly because somebody mentioned that I was going to lose my independence when I start living with my parents again. However, what I learned living here is that the more freedom, the more responsibility.

Its true that nobody here tells me that I have to be home at a certain time or I can't eat ice cream in the morning. But, I also don't go home late because I have to get up early to go to work to pay for the ice cream I have for breakfast.

I'm going home to reflect on what's my next step: graduate school, career, or marraige.

Quote of the Day

2006-07-24T23:14:00.000-04:00

Tourist: Which way is the Empire State Building?
New Yorker: Look up!

Things I do in the Office when the Boss is in a Meeting

2006-07-20T11:59:00.000-04:00

My roommate asked me why I entitled my blog 'The World is my Oyster'. I've heard the phrase so many times and assumed that I understood the connotation. But I wanted to make sure what it means. I typed in the phrase and this is what I got from the internet

The World is Your Oyster
Meaning: You have the ability to achieve anything you want
Example: Finish graduate school and the world is your oyster.
Origin:

Webster has a definition for oyster that is a bit obscure and certainly fits the phrase.
Oyster - something that is or can be readily made to serve one's personal ends.

Oysters produce pearls, objects of great value. Once you have the oyster, it gives up the pearl without much of a fight.

Getting the pearl requires the oyster to be opened. But despite the hardness of the oyster shell, they can be opened with ease. Oyster shells are held closed by a single muscle called the adductor. Oysters are shucked (opened) using a thin knife to cut the adductor muscle. Once the adductor is cut, the shell falls open.

If the world is your oyster then it is a place where you can get something of great value with ease.

I first heard the phrase 'Ducks in a Row' in the movie 'A Lot Like Love'. It's one of my most favorite movie. It's a good phrase to throw in a conversation when somebody asks me what I want to do with my life. All I have to say is I need to get my ducks in a row.

Ducks in a Row
Meaning: To have things in order.
Example: If you don't get your ducks in a row, you will be fired.
Origin: Baby ducklings swim in a straight line behind the mother duck. If the ducklings
stray to far, the mother duck will get them back in line, that is get her ducks in a row.

Une Flanueuse

2006-07-18T12:03:00.000-04:00

'We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.' -- Anais Nin

I'm experiencing a severe case of wanderlust right now.

Can somebody tell me how I got here? I'm seating in front of my computer entering data from 9-5!! This is so not me. Somebody get me out of here.

Original Cherry Charger with Extra Energy Boost

2006-07-12T22:54:00.000-04:00

When I arrived in US fall of 2002, I was very timid.

I was fluent in English but didn't have the confidence. One of my biggest fear was ordering in fast food establishments. There are so many choices.

I didn't know there are various kinds of coffee. I also didn't know the difference between wheat, Italian or white bread. Not to mention, I've never even heard of Jack cheese or American cheese.

In the beginning whenever I go to Starbucks or Subway, I order the simplest item on their menu. Then, I became more adventurous and started trying out different ingredients.

One time, I was studying for an Econ midterm in a Cafe, it was one of the few instances in my life that I really needed to drink coffee. I was one of those people who didn't know the difference between a latte and a cappucino (the truth is I still don't know). Despite of my ignorance, I went in and ordered an expresso. When they handed me the drink, I thought I was getting punk'd. It was the size of a thimble. A 4 dollar thimble! I didn't know if I was going to drink like a shot of vodka or do I put milk and sugar. I decided to put milk and a lot of sugar. After consuming the whole thing on an empty stomach, I was so jittery and couldn't hold my attention for a second. Needless to say, I never ordered expresso again.

However, two days ago, I went into Subway after work to buy my dinner. There were a couple of older ladies waiting for their food. One lady was still deciding what she wanted. I went straight to the sandwich maker and ordered a 6 inch toasted Italian BMT on wheat with Swiss cheese extra tomatoes and olives. The lady standing next to me says, "wow, you sure do know what you want".

After four years of trial and error, I finally figured out what I like in my food.

Maybe in a few more years, I'll figure out what I want to do with my life :P

Blog Envy

2006-07-11T09:51:00.000-04:00

After reading numerous blogs written by people all over the world, I decided I want to document my own experiences too.

To date, I think I've registered for livejournal, blog.com, friendster blog and twice on blogger. I never follow through. After a few entries, it seems like I run out of things to write.

Yesterday, I had an epiphany. I suffer from blog envy.

I love reading about other people's lives. Subjects ranging from raising kids to surviving law school. Of course, the travel blogs/expat blogs are my favorite.

One Canadian expat blogger writes about her adventures in Paris. She is the ultimate description of a flaneuse. Her writing is so detailed that I get lost in her words. She talks about walking around the city by herself, observing the culture, and initiating conversations with strangers. What I love the most is her self-reflection. She's 20 years old and already fulfilled her dreams of living in Paris. Her journal is full of questions and wisdom. Not only does she have control of her words, it seems that she also has control over her life.

If I could have one talent, I want to be able to express my thoughts and feelings in writing. I want people to understand what I'm trying to convey. I believe some people are born with the skill, others have to work hard for it.

I wish someday I, too, will be able to control my words.

Perks at Work

2006-07-10T09:18:00.000-04:00

Last February, I got a job in midtown Manhattan as a researcher. Not really the job I imagined doing after college, but I thought as long as it pays the rent, I'll continue doing it.

Four months into the job, I realized that I am not getting paid enough. Although, my days consist of very menial tasks (i.e. data entry, cold calling), I believe that I should be getting more than what I'm earning now.

Inspite of low pay, there is a huge perk working at my job. Location, location, location. Our office is located smack dabbed in the middle of all the tourist spots. There are a lot of great places to go to for lunch breaks. The Rockefeller Center, Empire State Building, Times Square are all walking distance from my office. It usually crowded though, so its not recommendable to go there for just an hour.

However, Saint Patrick's Cathedral, Grand Central and Bryant Park are three of my favorite places to go to.

Obviously, you can't eat in the Cathedral. But there are stairs outside where a bunch of tourist sit when they're tired of shopping. Its one of my favorite place to eat lunch. Buy an overpriced hotdog from a street vendor sit by the stairs and enjoy the facade of this magnificent structure. Im not very religious but everytime I go there I feel like I'm closer to God. The facade consists of two towers and a rose window that allows natural light to get into the choir section of the church. Im not going to get into the details of the interior (that's for another blog entry). The most interesting thing about the cathedral is that it is an ancient structure amidst the modern buildings of New York City. It surely represents the idea that New York City is a mixture of the past and the present, different ethnicities, and cultures.

My second favorite place to go for lunch is the bustling Grand Central Station. They have restaurants that serve decent food; but definitely over my budget (two bite sized quesadilla cost me $10). I rarely eat there but when I do, I always enjoy the ambience. I love to travel and the place is just filled with people all going somewhere. Whenever I go there I imagine myself going on a long trip to some exotic place like Boston or Pittsburg, hehe. I love the industrial revolution era, and whenever I'm there I experience a little part of that time period.

When I graduated college, I wanted to backpack through Europe before settling for a job. Obviously, that didn't work out. New York City was my back up plan. Its one the most amazing place to live in. With so many things to see. Maybe someday, I'll go backpacking through europe but for now I'll have an affair with New York City.

Should I Stay or Should I Go

2006-07-05T21:44:00.000-04:00

Many have told me that getting a degree while living on my own is a an acheivement in itself.

Others say it's not over yet. Suck it up, the best is yet to come.

I don't think living in New York is difficult. I have a job, a nice apartment, I'm eating, I can afford to go to the movies. I'm independent. I don't have to answer to anyone.

I think my life can be better. I'm in my early 20s. I shouldn't be settling in one place, staying in my first job. There's so much in the world to see; to experience.

I can't be peaking right now; because that means its all down hill from here.

I'm going back home in two months. I'm excited to see my family but at the same time I scared of turning my back on a great opportunity.

The situation is: in order to stay in this country, a company has to sponsor my work permit. The chances of that happening is zero to none. On the other hand, I can go back home and find a job somewhere in Asia.

The dilemma is: should I try my luck and stay? or should I go back home and pursue a career in Asia?

Right now, I'm confused. Whatever my decision is, I'll try not to regret it and move on with my life.

Winter '03

2006-06-30T00:31:00.000-04:00

My aunt invited me for dinner at her Upper East Side apartment tonight. After work, I took the 4 express train from midtown. It took me less than 10 minutes.

Four years ago, I spent my first winter break in New York City. I had great expectations coming here. I've seen so many films portraying the City as a melting pot of different vibrant cultures. In addition, 4 singles women on TV showed viewers the glamorous life of being a New Yorker. So during my flight, I listed down places i wanted to see: Times Square, Statue of Liberty, Wall Street, the Metropolitan Museum, etc..

She picked me up from the airport around dinner time. We exchanged pleasantries in the cab. She asked how was school and I asked how was work. And then she pointed out the window to the towering skyscrapers in the horizon. She muttered 'Welcome to New York'.

I know its a cliche but I really couldn't believe I was in NYC. My eyes grew bigger at the first sight of bright lights that shaped the buildings. The winter weather was freezing but I was sweating inside the cab. There was so much noise around me. I could hear cars honking, the radio, the cab drivers walkie talkie buzzing every two seconds. I didn't mind. The traffic to the city was unbearable but I wasn't in a hurry. I felt like a child going to Disneyland. I wanted to see/feel and remember everything. I still do.

We walked into her apartment building, I was introduced to the friendly doorman. We exchanged hellos and goodbyes whenever we see other.

My aunt lives on the 14th floor and has an amazing view of 3rd avenue. Some days when its too cold to go outside, I would look out the window and dream of someday having my own apartment on the Upper East Side.

On the warmer days, I would walk alone to my destination and cross out the places on my list. It was everything I expected and more. I had a lot of good memories but few photographs.

Today, my aunt told me she's moving to the Hamptons and has to give up her apartment. She says she will have a hard time leaving. I feel the same way. I spent most of my winter breaks in that apartment. It was my first home in the New York City.

Christmas '05

I'm Moving

2006-06-28T10:52:00.000-04:00

livejournal isnt working for me....so lets see if the blogger template will motivate me to update more frequently.